vr_trakowski (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
vr_trakowski) wrote2010-04-22 01:31 pm
vr_trakowski) wrote2010-04-22 01:31 pm
Entry tags:
Commentary track
A while back I decided it would be interesting to do a commentary on Green Laurel, so here's my indulgence. Hopefully I can manage the LJ cuts well enough.
Ch. 1
Another plot I've been wanting to try out for a while. Clichéd, of course, but compelling nonetheless, and sometimes I just can't resist.
I don't usually bother with the Avengers angle--not because of timeline reasons but because I don't really know that much about them, so it's easier to leave them out. Lazy, perhaps, but I was always more of a mutant fan.
Queen of the Valley is a real hospital, unlike University Hospital in my CSI stories. What a nifty name!
Using "Pepper's" real name was a conscious choice. It took me far too long to realize that while Tony & co. might call her by her nickname, the rest of the world really has no reason to do so, and I seriously doubt she thinks of herself as Pepper. Actually using the name Virginia was an interesting change; I couldn't drop it into the narrative as often as Pepper because it stood out too much. In fact, I should have removed more of 'em from this chapter. Still, in the end, it's easier to use her nickname; certainly we the readers tend to think of her as Pepper.
Ch. 2
Yes, the (semi) FBI team is not my invention. They're from UC:Undercover, one of those promising shows that got canceled very quickly; I watched it mostly for Oded Fehr, though I found the other characters engaging. I did write a few short fics for it, before I got into CSI fandom.
I really wanted to use the cast of The Mentalist instead, but at the time I was writing this chapter the show hadn't been on long enough to give me a good grip on the characters, and in the end I had to set the idea aside. I still regret it, because watching Thomas Jane frustrate Tony Stark would be hilarious. I suppose I could have stuck with the police, but using Frank Donovan was just too much fun.
Don't ask me why they gave a character being played by a German-Israeli-who-looks-Arabic an Irish name. But then, supposedly, at least two of the other characters weren't using their original names either...
Ch. 3
I didn't plan on having any hint that Happy felt more for Virginia than for any other colleague, though I am aware of the history between them in the comics. But the plot insisted on going that way. Normally I hate doing that kind of thing, because I am such a devotee of happy endings--I don't like leaving anyone lovelorn. But sometimes the muse cannot be gainsaid.
Of course, it can also be read that they're just friends.
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laura27md asked me why Virginia's kidnappers didn't do a video recording instead of audio. The short answer is, because I didn't think of it. :P But I also think the voices alone plus the hair have more dramatic punch, both as a demand and as a plot.
Ch. 4
I had chibi-type drawings in mind for Virginia's little sketches. Havingrabidpotato volunteer to do them for me was wonderful--and then she did the others as well. I am still in awe!
The image of Butterfingers being chased by a kitten stems fromcincoflex's Eden in a Box II. I couldn't resist. *grin* Yes, Dummy found the kitten, but I'm sure Rrrrrr chased 'em both at some point.
Ch. 5
Did any of you who read my older stuff really expect Pepper to do anything besides rescue herself? :P Seriously, this goes all the way back to Skein.
Virginia's trip in the river is based on my own swims in the American River, which is much further north than her location. The swimming spot is one of my favorite places in the world, and while I don't know if a similar one exists in southern California, I don't know that one doesn't.
Why have Virginia kidnapped by mistake? For the twist.
I would have made more of Tony imagining Virginia possibly sexually assaulted, except I couldn't figure out how to phrase it so that he didn't sound disgusted by her rather than what had been done to her. I couldn't come up with a conversation that worked later in the story, either--it never fit their relationship as it stood, alas.
Whoops, forgot to move Tony out of the building.
Ch. 7
Mike, Trish, and Helena all have names from people I've met, though the personalities are not a match. I don't know where Dinah came from.
Ch. 8
I do have a bad habit of making the man cry. But never without reason.
After the minor storm generated by Löyli I wanted to make it clear that Virginia's reaction to Tony's kiss isn't the desire to refuse, just the reflex triggered by a sudden motion near one's face. I doubt I succeeded, though.
Virginia calling Rhodey "Jimmy" was a conscious choice, here and elsewhere. I think she addresses him by name all of once in the film, and "Rhodey" always seems to me to be Tony's name for him. But I'm not consistent.
The origami is my occasional tribute to Wintertime's breathtaking Paper Cranes, which ain't this fandom, so if you don't do GSR, don't worry about it. And to Warrick, sigh.
Dolores belongs tocincoflex . Used with permission. *grin*
Ch. 9
Originally I was going to have both the remaining kidnappers captured at the holding site, but I needed better motivation for Virginia to stay at Tony's place. This generated several more chapters than I was expecting, eventually.
Heh. When I started writing CSI fic, one could tell an author was British by the fact that someone would plug in a kettle instead of putting it on the stove; at the time, electric kettles were mostly used only by college students in the United States. Since then, they've become kitchen accessories here.
Dr. Phair is a joint invention of mine andcincoflex's, dating back to our second co-authored Brass/Heather story in the CSI fandom.
I've never been to Angeles National Forest, so I don't know if the landscape Virginia traveled through fits, but based on my research it doesn't seem too far off.
Ch. 10
I'm fond of the scene with the Franklins, though I can't say why.
I based Tony's ability to speak Japanese on his hitting college in the mid '80s or so, when Japan was an economic and technological powerhouse and Japanese was going to be the next business language.
Yes, the term "High Engineering" is a hat tip to Lois McMaster Bujold. *grin*
Ch. 11
It appears that I am out of date, and that cellphones are now permitted in hospitals, at least in some areas. *shrug* It's been a few years.
I got the idea for the Matsue house from a September 2009 article in Smithsonian. It seems a gorgeous area, and I can see Tony being attracted to the culture and style.
Ch. 12
Another amazing illustration fromrabidpotato, this one out of the blue! And she guessed right, heh. Which means either that she's very intuitive or that I'm very predictable. *snerk*
For those of you not fans of the moderately obscure, the books Virginia finds in Tony's room are from Leslie Charteris' series about the Saint.
I believecincoflex posted the little conversation we put together concerning Tony, Pepper, and squid. Her concern is justified. :D
Yes, koi can live that long, and yes, they can and will propel themselves out of the water in hopes of food. It's a little scary, in fact.
Ch. 13
On UC:Undercover, Alex really was that good.
Ch. 14
I'm still not pleased with the start of this chapter, but sometimes one must simply leave off the tinkering.
Yep, the moose warning is a hat-tip tocincoflex's hysterical Moose.
Ahh, cliffhangers. Gotta love 'em. *grin*
Ch. 15
Poor Tony. He so wanted to save the damsel, and I just wouldn't let him. :P
Come on, Tony's an engineer. Of course he'd carry duct tape.
Ch. 16
I love it whencincoflex does banners for me. :D
I'm also not satisfied with the conclusion to Yarbro, but I sort of boxed myself in with the plot. A face-to-face confrontation might have worked better, but I couldn't come up with a believable reason for it to happen.
Epilogue
I was going to leave the camper's identity unfound, since life is like that sometimes, but it turned out to be a good way to tie things up for a proper ending.
Ch. 1
Another plot I've been wanting to try out for a while. Clichéd, of course, but compelling nonetheless, and sometimes I just can't resist.
I don't usually bother with the Avengers angle--not because of timeline reasons but because I don't really know that much about them, so it's easier to leave them out. Lazy, perhaps, but I was always more of a mutant fan.
Queen of the Valley is a real hospital, unlike University Hospital in my CSI stories. What a nifty name!
Using "Pepper's" real name was a conscious choice. It took me far too long to realize that while Tony & co. might call her by her nickname, the rest of the world really has no reason to do so, and I seriously doubt she thinks of herself as Pepper. Actually using the name Virginia was an interesting change; I couldn't drop it into the narrative as often as Pepper because it stood out too much. In fact, I should have removed more of 'em from this chapter. Still, in the end, it's easier to use her nickname; certainly we the readers tend to think of her as Pepper.
Ch. 2
Yes, the (semi) FBI team is not my invention. They're from UC:Undercover, one of those promising shows that got canceled very quickly; I watched it mostly for Oded Fehr, though I found the other characters engaging. I did write a few short fics for it, before I got into CSI fandom.
I really wanted to use the cast of The Mentalist instead, but at the time I was writing this chapter the show hadn't been on long enough to give me a good grip on the characters, and in the end I had to set the idea aside. I still regret it, because watching Thomas Jane frustrate Tony Stark would be hilarious. I suppose I could have stuck with the police, but using Frank Donovan was just too much fun.
Don't ask me why they gave a character being played by a German-Israeli-who-looks-Arabic an Irish name. But then, supposedly, at least two of the other characters weren't using their original names either...
Ch. 3
I didn't plan on having any hint that Happy felt more for Virginia than for any other colleague, though I am aware of the history between them in the comics. But the plot insisted on going that way. Normally I hate doing that kind of thing, because I am such a devotee of happy endings--I don't like leaving anyone lovelorn. But sometimes the muse cannot be gainsaid.
Of course, it can also be read that they're just friends.
laura27md asked me why Virginia's kidnappers didn't do a video recording instead of audio. The short answer is, because I didn't think of it. :P But I also think the voices alone plus the hair have more dramatic punch, both as a demand and as a plot. Ch. 4
I had chibi-type drawings in mind for Virginia's little sketches. Having
rabidpotato volunteer to do them for me was wonderful--and then she did the others as well. I am still in awe! The image of Butterfingers being chased by a kitten stems from
cincoflex's Eden in a Box II. I couldn't resist. *grin* Yes, Dummy found the kitten, but I'm sure Rrrrrr chased 'em both at some point. Ch. 5
Did any of you who read my older stuff really expect Pepper to do anything besides rescue herself? :P Seriously, this goes all the way back to Skein.
Virginia's trip in the river is based on my own swims in the American River, which is much further north than her location. The swimming spot is one of my favorite places in the world, and while I don't know if a similar one exists in southern California, I don't know that one doesn't.
Why have Virginia kidnapped by mistake? For the twist.
I would have made more of Tony imagining Virginia possibly sexually assaulted, except I couldn't figure out how to phrase it so that he didn't sound disgusted by her rather than what had been done to her. I couldn't come up with a conversation that worked later in the story, either--it never fit their relationship as it stood, alas.
Whoops, forgot to move Tony out of the building.
Ch. 7
Mike, Trish, and Helena all have names from people I've met, though the personalities are not a match. I don't know where Dinah came from.
Ch. 8
I do have a bad habit of making the man cry. But never without reason.
After the minor storm generated by Löyli I wanted to make it clear that Virginia's reaction to Tony's kiss isn't the desire to refuse, just the reflex triggered by a sudden motion near one's face. I doubt I succeeded, though.
Virginia calling Rhodey "Jimmy" was a conscious choice, here and elsewhere. I think she addresses him by name all of once in the film, and "Rhodey" always seems to me to be Tony's name for him. But I'm not consistent.
The origami is my occasional tribute to Wintertime's breathtaking Paper Cranes, which ain't this fandom, so if you don't do GSR, don't worry about it. And to Warrick, sigh.
Dolores belongs to
cincoflex . Used with permission. *grin* Ch. 9
Originally I was going to have both the remaining kidnappers captured at the holding site, but I needed better motivation for Virginia to stay at Tony's place. This generated several more chapters than I was expecting, eventually.
Heh. When I started writing CSI fic, one could tell an author was British by the fact that someone would plug in a kettle instead of putting it on the stove; at the time, electric kettles were mostly used only by college students in the United States. Since then, they've become kitchen accessories here.
Dr. Phair is a joint invention of mine and
cincoflex's, dating back to our second co-authored Brass/Heather story in the CSI fandom. I've never been to Angeles National Forest, so I don't know if the landscape Virginia traveled through fits, but based on my research it doesn't seem too far off.
Ch. 10
I'm fond of the scene with the Franklins, though I can't say why.
I based Tony's ability to speak Japanese on his hitting college in the mid '80s or so, when Japan was an economic and technological powerhouse and Japanese was going to be the next business language.
Yes, the term "High Engineering" is a hat tip to Lois McMaster Bujold. *grin*
Ch. 11
It appears that I am out of date, and that cellphones are now permitted in hospitals, at least in some areas. *shrug* It's been a few years.
I got the idea for the Matsue house from a September 2009 article in Smithsonian. It seems a gorgeous area, and I can see Tony being attracted to the culture and style.
Ch. 12
Another amazing illustration from
rabidpotato, this one out of the blue! And she guessed right, heh. Which means either that she's very intuitive or that I'm very predictable. *snerk* For those of you not fans of the moderately obscure, the books Virginia finds in Tony's room are from Leslie Charteris' series about the Saint.
I believe
cincoflex posted the little conversation we put together concerning Tony, Pepper, and squid. Her concern is justified. :D Yes, koi can live that long, and yes, they can and will propel themselves out of the water in hopes of food. It's a little scary, in fact.
Ch. 13
On UC:Undercover, Alex really was that good.
Ch. 14
I'm still not pleased with the start of this chapter, but sometimes one must simply leave off the tinkering.
Yep, the moose warning is a hat-tip to
cincoflex's hysterical Moose. Ahh, cliffhangers. Gotta love 'em. *grin*
Ch. 15
Poor Tony. He so wanted to save the damsel, and I just wouldn't let him. :P
Come on, Tony's an engineer. Of course he'd carry duct tape.
Ch. 16
I love it when
cincoflex does banners for me. :D I'm also not satisfied with the conclusion to Yarbro, but I sort of boxed myself in with the plot. A face-to-face confrontation might have worked better, but I couldn't come up with a believable reason for it to happen.
Epilogue
I was going to leave the camper's identity unfound, since life is like that sometimes, but it turned out to be a good way to tie things up for a proper ending.