vr_trakowski: (write)
[personal profile] vr_trakowski
This is, believe it or not, my version of a songfic. Good luck guessing the song, though. Because it's in letter form, it's not on FF.net.

Transformation is rated G.

San Francisco
Dec. 16, 2007

Gil--

I was going to tell you how things are going here--ordinary stuff like the weather and Laura’s latest attempt at finding a vegetarian restaurant.  And then I realized that’s what e-mail’s for. 

She keeps asking me when I’m going to leave.  I think it’s half fear, half anticipation.  You know, that’s one of the things we share--she too had shoved the past into boxes and locked them up tight.  The difference is, her locks work better. 

Okay, that’s not a very good analogy, but you know what I mean.  She doesn’t want to turn me away, but it’s even harder for her to deal with than it is for me, and that’s saying something.  Fortunately, she’s trying. 

There are days when we’re both so wrung out that I could cry...and there are times when we do.  I don’t know what’s worse, those times or the nights when we quit without having said anything significant at all.  I could scream with frustration, and when I crawl into bed and try to sleep all I want is you holding me. 

You know, it felt like the first full night day of sleep I ever got was in your arms. 

I am so damned tired of this, Gil.  And if I thought it would just take a couple of weeks I’d make you come out here and snore in my ear so I could finally get some sleep.  But it won’t, and I’ll have to be patient (feel free to laugh) and let things happen in their own time. 

I miss you so much, though.  I kind of feel like Galileo, searching for stability in a world full of inconsistency and denial.  I should pick a star and name it Gilbert, because you’re what’s keeping me sane and stable--the knowledge that you’re out there, waiting for me. 

Okay, I’m going to cut off that metaphor before it gets loose and embarrasses me.  I am coming back, though.  I don’t know when, but one of these days nights you’re going to turn around, and there’ll I’ll be, ready to kiss you in front of Hodges and everybody, again. 

I miss you.  I love you.  I always, always will. 

--Sara

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